#13

Okay, so after having a rough day yesterday, I finally realized something. There is no secret to getting over someone. There's no formula that makes it happen faster (although I can think of at least a dozen ways to slow it down), there's no piece of advice, friendly hug, or self help book that will miraculously cure you of a broken heart. Now don't get me wrong- all of these things certainly play a role in what you take away from the break up. But at the end of the day, the only thing that will make you feel better after a painful break up is...time. And there's nothing you can do to control that. Some people suppress their feelings, and others, many many others, jump into new relationships to avoid feeling the pain. But since I don't want to do those things, I'll just have to find healthy ways to deal with the time that it will take to heal. Which, I guess, is what I've been doing...so maybe this wasn't much of a revelation after all. Sure I had some tough moments yesterday (and plenty of other days), but when I think back to two weeks ago, I've really come quite a long way. Then I wanted to sit alone and cry all day, but now I'm more interested in finding out what lies on the other side of all this hurt. And hey- that's a step in the right direction!

Now that I'm single, and on my way to healing, I've decided that I'm going to do something new- I'm going to surprise myself. I'm going to start working on all those things I've been afraid to do, like work on growing my personal business -www.thewritelook.net - take a look : ) ...start running again, and actually stick to it. I mean, I've been wanting to lose weight for quite some time now. Lately I've been eating better, but I'm still not working out. I've lived in my apartment for four months now, and there's a free 24 hour gym in the building. Yet I've only been there twice. TWICE! And I mean, shit- I have all this spare time on my hands, I might as well go for a run. I still can't find my inhaler (damn cat...), but I'm going to take a chance anyway. Maybe I've just been using that as an excuse anyhow. Also, I'm going to find a charity and volunteer. And I'm going to...okay, that's probably enough for now actually, lol.

I mean, I know that these next few weeks, and maybe even months (though I hope not) will be different and hard at times, but being single can also offer great opportunity for self improvement. So that's what I'm going to work on. What's most important though, if anyone else is out to do the same, is that you do this for yourself. Don't hope to lose 20 pounds so your ex can be jealous. Don't plan to grow your business so...your ex can be jealous, lol. Do things for yourself. And in doing so, you learn to appreciate yourself, love yourself.

So that's my goal. I'm not perfect. I might cry a few more times...but I'm still going to take the time to learn to love myself.

So...that's it!