This last week has been pretty interesting for me in many ways. And as stated, my master plan seems to be changing slightly...but I'll get to that later, possibly much later. Because I'm currently in denial about it. So I'll get on with today's blog.
Sex:
Last weekend I hung out with a friend. Before she arrived I was nervous that things would be awkward or worse, uninteresting. But in the end, we had an absolutely great time. She came over on Friday when I got off of work; we watched movies, drank a new wine that I found (at least new to me), talked for hours, laughed at youtube videos (no date is complete without this!), and yes- we had absolutely great sex. I assumed that when next I had sex, it would be rebound sex. But last weekend proved that sex isn't at all about getting over her; it's about me. ...and whoever the other party is. If there is one.
It is now Tuesday, and I still can't get my weekend with her out of my mind. And not just the sex, mind you; I keep thinking about the connection I felt with her, and how nice it was to fall asleep with her holding me... Now this does not mean that I'm all of a sudden in love. I still appreciate singledom and I feel that there's a lot that I need to do before falling into a relationship again. Aaaand also, I'm a little torn because I've unexpectedly started to develop feelings for someone else, too. But alas; to discuss that would mean coming out of denial, so I'll leave it alone for now. Long story short, I've spent enough nights alone to not feel guilty about spending a few with another.
Hope:
After finding out about my bank account balance, I contacted my bank. I wasn't sure that it would accomplish much of anything, but by the end of the call they cleared enough charges from my account that I was no longer in the negative. My balance is still looking a bit skinny, I won't lie about that. But at least I'm not behind anymore. Last week I started reminiscing...When I was younger- 18 or 19- I lived alone and had a new car, yet I still had enough money to do things with my friends, shop til I dropped, and just generally live an interesting life. I started to ask myself, what the hell happened? Why can I no longer do those things freely? Then I began to remember things as they truly were: by the time I was 20/21, I had accumulated a great deal of debt. One morning I woke up suddenly after hearing a loud noise. I looked out my window to see what was going on, and it wasn't what I saw that terrified me- it was what I didn't see. My car had been repossessed. 5 thousand dollars, and 7 bus rides later I got it back...but a week later as I was watching America's next top model and my television turned off. So did all my lights, and my heat- in the middle of winter, no less. I had to conjure up another 6 thousand dollars to get it back on- and no, I'm not exaggerating. I had gone YEARS without paying a gas and electric bill, because I wanted to party and live it up like fucking P Diddy. So I took a look at my ledger the other day and realized that even though I'm broke as hell, all of my bills are paid and on time. I'm learning responsibility, and it might come at a small price- I won't be able to do all the silly crap I did when I was younger, at least not until I'm better established. But hey, worse things in life have happened. Also, thanks to all who have volunteered to take a flier!!! I did get some interest this week and what's more, I have some great new ideas that I'm trying to put together.
...and a Baby
My niece was born this weekend!! She arrived three weeks early, so no one was expecting her. Her name is Charley, and to her aunt Brittney she's the cutest thing to come into this world since her big sis Rileah was born. I can't say that I had any bright epiphanies when first seeing her, and it wasn't life changing except in the obvious ways...but it was definitely awe inspiring. For a just a while, my financial woes, my dating life, and all other things that have consumed me as of late were pushed to the back burner and replaced with family. In large part due to the snow we've had recently, we haven't all been together in a while... Charley's arrival is also going to mean increased responsibility on my part; I don't want Rileah to get jealous, so I plan to spend a lot more time hanging with my little toddler homie. Anyway, I want to write more but I can always come back later- I gotta get ready for work!
But before I go, I have to say...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY CHARLEY <3
What can I say? The baby likes a little soda...
omg. adorable baby!
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