So many thoughts, So few caring ears...

I'd like to preface by saying, I am currently PMSing.

Perhaps the real reason I decided to start a blog again is that I've had a lot of frustrations lately, and no one to talk to about them. Because I'm sure that my "friends" will never read this, I can openly say that I don't know what's going on with them lately. I try to always stand behind my friends, lending an ear when they need to talk, helping out when they need help...but this is certainly not reciprocated. I don't do hoping for things to be done, but I have to admit, sometimes it would be nice if my friends could be, well, friends. When I call to talk, I'm met with silence, a subject change, or any number of non helpful responses. After my attempts to talk, I'm left feeling even more frustration, and wishing I hadn't tried in the first place.

Maybe the real problem is my girlfriend. Yes- I have one now. We've been together for five months and she's amazing in so many ways...but there is one pretty big problem: I find that when I need to talk, when I need advice or a friend, I simply cannot go to her. When I tell her about situations at work, she tells me that I should 'call people out' and tell them how I really feel about them. It might just be me, but I've always thought that telling your co workers that you dislike them makes you look bad in the end. My girlfriend has been in the military for a few years now, and I'm pretty sure that going off on your co workers is frowned upon in her field of work too, so I'm not sure why she keeps suggesting it. Other times when I talk to her, I'm answered with "Uuummmm....", or her famous, "You'll figure it out". In the past, I've been able to talk to my partner about everything, so I didn't look to my friends to fill that void. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to figure out if not being able to talk to my girlfriend about things is something I can live with for the rest of my life.

So I have a question for all (or none?) of those who have begun reading my blog - Do you think that it's important to be able to talk to your partner about things, or are you content as long as there's someone in your life that you can talk to about things? Furthermore, would you stay with someone if you know you can't talk to them when you're frustrated, upset, confused, or pretty much any emotion besides happy?

In terms of accountability, I also wonder if I should just be more self sufficient, and not need to talk to others when I'm frustrated or need advice. I also wonder if I should simply start seeing a therapist...

I just don't know...so many thoughts...so few caring ears...