So my last blog talked about how I've been living it up here lately, and enjoying all of the wonders that come along with being single. But today I got a small dose of reality...
Yesterday morning I woke up and hung out in bed for a few minutes too long as I do most mornings. Then with only 23 minutes to spare I decided to get up, take a shower and get ready for work. I yawned and stretched and stepped out of bed, and immediately gasped in pain. My calves were in a lot of pain, as if I had pulled the calve muscles in both of my legs simultaneously. Still, I could function and I figured that things would get better as time went by.
After work I told my friend what was going on, and she suggested that I eat a banana or something else high in potassium, as sometimes a potassium deficiency can cause your legs to do this. Bananas and I don't roll in the same crew, so I bought one of those all natural fruit smoothie drinks that are really high in potassium, and prayed that it would do the trick.
This morning I woke up and noticed that my calves were still rather sore. Even still, I climbed out of bed to start my day. This time however, I did more than gasp in pain- I fell down. It has been about 2 hours since I woke up, and I can barely walk. I hate to say this aloud, but I haven't worked out in nearly 3 weeks, so I know it can't be from that. I haven't lifted anything heavy, and before you ask- no, I have not played the bongos with my calves. ...I guess I should also note that I haven't had sex in almost a week...so though it is unfortunate, this isn't a result of trying out new positions.
I don't have a doctor, so I'm calling a bunch of places, most of which aren't open until after 9 (so when I finish writing this I should have a little more success). And when I do find a doctor, I will have to find a way to drive there. I'm not playing the victim or feeling super emotional, but I have to admit that I finally remember at least one thing that I miss about being in a relationship- in times like these, there was always someone there who had my back. Now don't get me wrong- I'm sure that those who I'm dating would care...but I can't help but ask myself: would they care out of obligation, or would they honestly and truly care? Also, no one that I'm dating resides on the mean streets of Bmore as I do, so I wouldn't want to bother anyone with trying to get here. Shit...I honestly miss being deeply cared about. And as I hobble my sad ass to someone's hospital or doctor's office, I'm going to start thinking about my life, my goals, and whether I really want to just hang out and be single, and ultimately be alone because I'm too scared and too selfish to look for something beyond surface level.
Fuck.
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