How do you let go?

I feel crazy for saying this out loud and putting it over the internet no less, but I'd like to be open and honest in hopes that doing so will help me to face this. Besides that, I have absolutely no plausible evidence that anyone's reading this, so maybe I truly am safe in my thoughts. Whatever the case, I'll get on with it.

It has been over a year since I got dumped, and I'm not over her. I never thought I would be that pathetic ass person who couldn't get beyond someone, who watched someone thrive in their new lives as I sat dejectedly staring in, but here I am. I may not have my dignity and I know that I'm standing completely alone, but I'm fighting with the only weapon I have left- honesty.

I had so much to work on when we were together and I was by no means ready to be in a relationship, and it strikes me as horrifically ironic that the person I am now seems so well suited for the person she was then. I've spent months fantasizing about her coming back, and after many conversations with her I should know that it isn't going to happen. But I'm still standing here waiting. My pride is completely gone, I feel so rejected that it doesn't even phase me any longer, but I'm still here knowing that she's with someone else, knowing that I'm completely pathetic for this, and still not wanting to let go. At first I thought that being dumped made me want her back, so that I could get even, or that I just needed to meet someone better. But I see now that there isn't really anyone better per se; there is only someone different. And if it's someone different, I haven't been wholeheartedly interested.

Now this is not to say that my current failed relationship is a result of my feelings, although I suppose that plays some part here- my ex is a good person, but I could not be happy with her under any circumstances the way she is now, and I left her because I could tell that the way she is might be the way she'll always be, and that is something I cannot accept in a partner.

I'm complete exhausted from playing the role of fool and I feel so pathetic for hanging on to someone who hardly thinks of me. I'm trying to understand that we're over, I'm trying to believe that some other thing pulls me toward her, and that if I were to get my chance to be with her again it wouldn't be what I want. I have so much love and so many things to offer but she doesn't want it and I just want to be able to comprehend that and let her go.

The truth is, even as I was writing 15 days of solitude, I was keeping a private journal that was very different than what I was saying to those who followed the blog. I wanted to seem strong, to help anyone else who was going through the same things, but I was still hurting, and I am still hurting.

I want to move on. What do I have to do to move on?