Sometimes when I don't catch myself, I revel in the most delicious fantasy... I take a stairway to the very top of a tall building and walk out onto the roof. The evening kisses my face, a subtle breeze blows, and far below I hear the sounds of that I can see for miles in any direction. To the south, I see lights from buildings twinkle as their reflections dance across the water. North I watch as traffic stops and starts, and for a moment I become fixated with the frantic flashing of the lights atop police cars as they speed off into the distance. I see this and I think, what a beautiful sight...what a perfect last sight... Then smiling, I stretch out my arms and fall forward. Lights are just blurs now, fleeting moments in time. I know it'll be over in seconds but I waste no time with regret. In my head I worry not of the consequences, what my family will think, how my friends might react, whether I'll go to heaven, hell...no- this moment is for me. And so as I dive ever downward, I think of my favorite song.
(Random journal entry written yesterday)
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