I'm trying very hard to move forward, and shit- maybe even date someone new. But every time I meet someone they find my blog, read it, and immediately build a 17 foot wall to keep me out. Funny, since my thoughts are often fleeting and what I'm feeling when I write is probably not what I'm feeling the next day (is that so different than any other person?), but my uncensored honesty has turned some off. In a way, I can understand this since I wouldn't want to know every inner most thought of the person I'm dating. Most recently, I encountered the "you're not over your ex" story. Yes, I know that I said I miss her not a week ago. But I feel that I am indeed over her. I have moments when I miss what we had, but that is mostly because those that I'm dating now don't ever seem...right. When I date someone who feels wrong, I start to remember the deep connection that we had, because it felt right. I personally don't believe that this means that I am not over her- A good relationship should always consist of two (or more?) deeply connected people. And since I now know what it should feel like, it makes me sad, and perhaps a tad nostalgic, when I see that I won't experience that with whatever person I'm dating. Since my outward expression of my inner thoughts tends to be off putting, I think that I'll stop talking about my dating life for a while. I'm not going to stop blogging, but maybe I'll focus on other things. This is a prelim list, but so far I have several topics to choose from, like:
1. The fact that I am moving back to my mother's house. Yes, ladies and gentleman, it is true. I want to buy a house next year, and if I move back to my mother's house, I'll immediately save nearly $14,000 in the next 12 months. Not too shabby. And it's not so bad- it's a completely separate apartment with a separate entrance, so even though it's the size of half of a match box, it'll still be my own private space. My mother doesn't totally approve of my lifestyle, so that should make for some fun filled days. I only truly feel sorry for Oliver because of the lack of space, but I'll figure something out. Maybe I'll start taking him for walks! He'll like that.
2. My new love of the great outdoors. I went hiking on a mountain in Virginia two weeks ago, and since then I've been hooked! Okay, I should be honest- I nearly died several times, I cried once, and I stopped often to stare at the mound of rocks that I had to climb while yelling obscenities to God and whoever else may have been listening. It also began raining, which totally annihilated my 'do. But I didn't quit, and that's what matters. So now I've begun walking, hiking, climbing, and generally enjoying the outdoors as often as possible. So, this should mean many many pictures to come : )
3. Back to school, maybe? More on that later...
4. I don't know...my whole fucking life I guess!
So hopefully you guys will stick in there and keep reading. I may not always make sense, I might even contradict myself every now and then, but I can promise you one thing- it should be interesting!
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